Happy Accidents + K-PAX

Posted on December 24, 2015 by Alice Thirteen
Happy Accidents + K-PAX

Personal stories through the bending of time and space, maybe. You probably don’t see Happy Accidents coming. What the fuck, this film. Vincent D’Onofrio does all of the things. Various ways to interpret the plot of the film. This description can’t contain spoilers. There’s another movie on the show. In K-Pax, Kevin Spacey is not Bono. Bono is not Bono. No one is Bono. Jeff Bridges has a fourth of July celebration with the family. Saul Williams is Gunshots by Computer on sunday, bloody sunday. More various ways to interpret a film, this time regarding a different film. Something happens at the end and it’s probably great. I hope you’re happy. Continue reading →

Killapalooza 27: The Omen

Posted on December 17, 2015 by Alice Thirteen
Killapalooza 27: The Omen

The Omen films 1-4. Damien! The Killapalooza returns. The most insane listener thing yet. One take! Where does the name Damiem come from? That was the original Omen going for and where is it now? 20th Centuary Fox. The most horrible thing ever. The music in the Omen franchise. Characters embracing the mythology. Is watching Omen as a slasher franchise a good thing or a bad thing? Taking it to the next level, and then not pretending it didn’t happen. Omen 2: Less title articles. Puberty is a satanist’s best friend. Help out your local demon. Coming into power, which makes for a great film about having come into power. What billionaires what. What’s dogs got to do with it? Killing all the babies: a hole in your plan. Let’s just make more Omens. Come on everyone, to the manatee tank! Continue reading →

Last Action Hero + This is the End

Posted on December 10, 2015 by Alice Thirteen
Last Action Hero + This is the End

Movies looking inside themselves. Arnold Schwarzenegger is the Last Action Hero.Wait a second, John McTernan? A criticism of the action genre by masters of the action genre. The little boy that could. Calling out escapism. Animated buddy cops and factual fiction characters. A-listers commit atrocities in This is the End. Calling into question the behind-the-scenes buddy element. How much of a real look into celebrity life is This is the End? The change in celebrity over time. The ‘what the fuck’ angle. So bizarre it’s hard to believe it is really a film. Hey James Franco, want to talk about Jesus? Continue reading →

Vertigo + In the Mouth of Madness

Posted on December 3, 2015 by Alice Thirteen
Vertigo + In the Mouth of Madness

Gargantuan directors examine head problems. Untouchable darkness. Hitchcock and Vertigo. I’m demon speeding.Not talking about the shot by talking about the shot. It’s been a while, so just what are these Hitchcock things? A dirty black river to get you through this. A run down on Vertigo. An argument for madness. Hey, do you love me I’m a devil machine? Get into my world, all-american dream. John Carpenter’s In the Mouth of Madness. Down in the darkness there is no more tomorrow. Sam Neil gets locked in the hallow. Steven King shows up somehow. What really makes authors go crazy in the woods. Hey, do you love it when the kids are screaming? Wrecking on the road violate their dreaming. Hey, do you love to see the filth in the clean? Get into the gone, all american. Dream. Continue reading →

The Insider + Wag the Dog

Posted on November 26, 2015 by Alice Thirteen
The Insider + Wag the Dog

Backdoor meetings and the powers that be. Catch that wikileak! Don’t steal movies. Michael Mann shows an insider getting out. Wag the Dog makes shines light into the darkness. Fist bumps a plenty. An incredible introduction to the risks of telling the truth. The lesser of two fucks. A return to the question of friend or pet. Speaking of pets, Wag the Dog is not about a dog. The president you want to changes horses in a stream with. The Internet both destroys and fosters insane lies. A real Hollywood conspiracy. The farce for the truth! Continue reading →

Mad Max: Fury Road + The End of August at the Hotel Ozone

Posted on November 19, 2015 by Alice Thirteen
Mad Max: Fury Road + The End of August at the Hotel Ozone

Let’s spend a day in the wasteland! Boy there sure are a lot of women here. I hope they’re not savages. Then again, what is a savage when you really get down to it? Aren’t we all the future savages of the past, just living in the present? Progressive thinkers doomed to be made retroactively intolerant by a rapidly liberated society? All these questions are making me hungry. Say, you guys don’t have any pets do you? Man is there a lot of walking in the wasteland. It’s just so sandy for so long. You could really run out of things to talk about. So, has anybody here seen the new Mad Max? Continue reading →

The Shootist + Bone Tomahawk

Posted on November 12, 2015 by Alice Thirteen
The Shootist + Bone Tomahawk

Making something of your final days in the west. Westerns where life outside the film has implication on the movie itself. John Wayne had cancer, but did 1890 have cancer? The large star of The Shootist fights for his role. Could The Shootist exist without John Wayne? Other self-referential fiction. Ron Howard has been around for a long time. Bone Tomahawk is the greatest fucking thing. Westerns for horror movie fans. Ultra violent westerns. Fuck you, foreshadowing. Foreshadowing as a crutch and foreshowing as a red herring. Continue reading →

Patriot Games + Moonraker

Posted on November 5, 2015 by Alice Thirteen
Patriot Games + Moonraker

A unfamiliar return to the world of Jack Ryan and James Bond. People flipping out about actors playing characters. Jack Ryan comes back, sort of. The differences between the Jack Ryan of Patriot Games and the Jack Ryan of The Hunt for Red October. Samuel L Jackson pins things on people. What kind of Ted Raimi?! Why the change from A View to a Kill. James Bond goes to space in Moonraker. Exploitation! Bondsploitation! Star Warsploitation! Roger Moore. The most ridiculous moments of the James Bond franchise. Jaws and the return of Jaws. Action sequences then and now. Of gadgets and hamsters. #standWithDaniel Continue reading →

Belle de Jour + Moebius

Posted on October 29, 2015 by Alice Thirteen
Belle de Jour + Moebius

Weird sex things. Some sex things are weirder than others. The treat that is Belle de Jour. The deal with these Luis Bunuel films. Double Feature wants more belle movies. Mixing fantasy and reality until you can’t tell the difference. Displaying an arc in more than just character. The never-failing allure of what goes on behind closed doors. Alright, it’s time to enter Moebius. Do you have your Bag Cat ready? The snip-and-toss festival. Slapping and talking and slapping. Narrative? Fuck that! Delivering a message without telling a story. Ok, I guess you could call that a story. Relentless commitment to the insanity at hand. Moebius showing an adorable amount of restraint. Michael has a dirty secret about Kim’s movies. Continue reading →

The Babadook + We Need to Talk About Kevin

Posted on October 22, 2015 by Alice Thirteen
The Babadook + We Need to Talk About Kevin

Mothers and Monsters. Inter-relationship terror or something. Don’t get spoiled on We Need to Talk About Kevin or you will be the true monster. Alice finished directing his short film and will now become a crazy person. Female directed films! Jennifer Kent and Lars von Trier. How The Babadook terrifies. Children as warnings and also as annoyances both minor and major. The power of metaphor carries on. Don’t find out what We Need to Talk About Kevin is About. The impact of that moment. A difference in reads. Unraveling a mystery. Seeing red. Who holds the responsibility and what is to be done? The increased relevance of We Need to Talk About Kevin in the years since its release Continue reading →