Insomnia + The Rock

Posted on September 25, 2008 by Alice Thirteen
Insomnia + The Rock

Al Pacino. Being typecast. Alice wrongfully disagrees. Invisible actors. When actors trick you. Putting Michael on the spot. Supernatural detective. Avoiding standard devices. When you walk in on a film. Unnecessary staples. Michael disliked Memento, but still thinks it’s visionary. Visual foreshadowing. Podcast hosts with weird sleeping patterns. Films always get Insomnia wrong. Almost. Finally, a film with an important humanistic message. Alice unknowingly makes puns. Enough with the silly conspiracies! Die Hard is the standard for action films. Smallpox viral, not Survivalism viral. When even suspension of disbelief can’t save you. Character or actors? A film thought experiment – try it at home! Continue reading →

Dummy + Walmart

Posted on September 18, 2008 by Alice Thirteen
Dummy + Walmart

A few minutes on films before this show accidentally gets super political. Having fun with Dummy. Milla Jovovich: actress and musician. “American Pie Moments.” Alice makes Michael give you the freedom. Awkward does not translate into funny. Another look at dark comedy. Double Feature takes a controversial position on Walmart. Dissecting misinformation. Business in Chicago. Socialism. Minimum wage. Small business. Incase every last listener isn’t already pissed off . . . a rant about greenpeace. Alice teaches you about subsidies. Sweatshops. Safety and Responsibility. Ending this out of place political rant. Continue reading →

Being John Malkovich + Hostel 2

Posted on September 11, 2008 by Alice Thirteen
Being John Malkovich + Hostel 2

John playing Craig playing John. An awkward disagreement. Funny? Supernatural? What is this film? Describing dark comedy. Coming from the writer. Why people quote movies. Do cute and weird help a film? John Malkovich’s orgasm voice. One of the hosts hates this film – who’s fault is that? Quirky film as a style. A different type of disagreement. Alice guesses Michael’s least favorite scene. Michael says the meanest thing ever. How psychics talk to the dead. The titular line. Viral marketing. Lazy time passage. Alice is really uncomfortable describing his feeling about Hostel 2. Really, really uncomfortable. A segment so fucked up it can’t be synopsized. Continue reading →

Hostel + This Film Is Not Yet Rated

Posted on September 4, 2008 by Alice Thirteen
Hostel + This Film Is Not Yet Rated

Exploitation. Alice doesn’t have dental insurance. Misleading packaging. The internet has made Saw irrelevant. Karma doesn’t exist. Hostel’s reception in popular culture. “Meatcart.” Betraying the viewer using time and perspective. Slow motion death. Alice is actually in Hostel. Producer? Presenter? Making your destination clear. Documentary gimmicks. Do children really need saving? The ratings board. Legislating taste. Rate real life violence. Double Feature gets really political really fast. Realistic portrayals of violence. Old media is more of a joke than karma. Unrated film. What’s the answer? Continue reading →

The Descent + Feast

Posted on August 28, 2008 by Alice Thirteen
The Descent + Feast

Where the Double Feature intro song came from. Michael sets up a Double Feature. Horror is scary. Alice practices three sentence dream theory. Japanese Horror. Zombie films vs horror films. Forcing well built characters. Strong female leads. Challenging yourself as a director. Trent didn’t play the Great Destroyer. The environment you watch a movie in. Sparse score. Show the monster? Alternate ending for “The Descent.” How to get away with a twist. What the fuck does a producer do? Meeting the characters. Changing up the hero. You can’t kill the dog/kid…right? Alice’s Pediaphobia. Hampster-style returns. Jokes with several layers. Bad hampster-style. How a film convinces you to like it. Continue reading →

Orgazmo + The Matador

Posted on August 21, 2008 by Alice Thirteen
Orgazmo + The Matador

A word about Southland Tales and No Country for Old Men. The dream rule. Michael coins the term “candy.” What is and isn’t funny. Paint-by-numbers film. “Hamster style.” Censorship. The beginning of what will surely become a multitude of feminist rants from Alice. Exploitation/empowerment of women in pornography. There isn’t enough male nudity in film. This isn’t a goddamn review. Solid scenes. Missing scenes. An interesting plot mechanic. All about characters. Realistic delivery. Michael does an impression of Alice ranting about camera work. Mexico is badass. How to handle death. The innocence of a child is a fucking myth. Crafting a double feature. Continue reading →

Contact + Silence of the Lambs

Posted on August 14, 2008 by Alice Thirteen
Contact + Silence of the Lambs

Accidental Double Feature! Something Michael likes! Almost. The Jaws factor. Carl Sagan Awareness moment. Michael Shermer. James Randi. SETI. Accidental Libertarian Experiment. Planet intro or Apple TV glitch? Elevator noises. Good and bad jargon. Missing closure upsets one of the hosts…guess which! Scientific skepticism. Scifi Woodstock. Seriously though, there is no god. Getting into space. Alice is easily excitable. Camerawork that knows what it should do and doesn’t. Why films are in 16×9. Unnerving film vs scare shots. How to use a camera to make people uncomfortable. Does borrowing from a film make your film less good? Crafting a creepy character. The word actress is a little sexist. Why Oscars and awards are worthless. The Scooby Doo ending. Titular lines. What to do with your credits. Continue reading →

Chasing Amy + DOA: Dead or Alive

Posted on August 7, 2008 by Alice Thirteen
Chasing Amy + DOA: Dead or Alive

Michael has full faith. The shortest Double Feature segment ever. Acupuncture doesn’t work. A confusing distribution release. Gaming history. An advertising hook. Modern day exploitation – what it is, what it should be. The movie roadmap. When montages are acceptable. Marketing mystery. Being along for the ride. Alice does a flip then punches Michael. Sound and attitude. Time bombs are lame. The Fargo checklist: When a film is just a film. Alice thins out his film library. Kevin Smith dialogue. Where does the demand for bad films come from? Just when we were about to excuse montages. Writing a film around a scene. Popular culture dates your movie. The creation of the slasher marathon. Continue reading →

Hatchet + Memento

Posted on July 31, 2008 by Alice Thirteen
Hatchet + Memento

Adam Green brings on the new breed of horror. The Trio. Acting in horror films. Alice likes dominant leader-type girls. The survivor. Role reversal. The “Fuck You” ending. Everyone on Lost gets eaten by a shark. Alice again describes bloody kills in a oddly sexual tone. Adam Green executes a scare shot. Lola screaming. Religious and supernatural bullshit. A modern Scooby Doo. Michael has an abundance of problems with Memento. How to hurt Alice’s feelings. Betraying your own code. Does the puzzle cheat? How to construct a crazy film. Alice isn’t actually in this movie. So wait, who did it? Continue reading →

League of Extraordinary Gentlemen + Constantine

Posted on July 24, 2008 by Alice Thirteen
League of Extraordinary Gentlemen + Constantine

LxG. Michael owns a fullscreen movie. Why owning a fullscreen movie makes you a tool. Finding good things in one of the worst movies on this show. OMG, what a twist! Make Alice stop talking about Shaft. Buddy cop films suck. Like, really bad. Comic book excuses. The Rodriguez game. Scenes with surgical precision. Aging CG and CG vs models. Spy Kids is a legitimate series of films. Invisible accuracy. Find a more awful ending? Notable Shia Labeouf impression. The afterlife is silly. Michael hates CG creatures. The worst prop ever conceived (and it’s not the Holy Lance!). Constantine in three sentences. Dealing with psuedoscience in film. Twin parapsychology. Buying into the power. Redemption in a ridiculously good mix. Continue reading →